Being heard

First published January 24, 2018 Edited 8/2020

So, I did not post anything yesterday. Partly because I did not want to, and partly because I had nothing to say. It was good to allow myself the freedom to not HAVE to do a post, even though it is my intention to post Daily, hence the name. I've been enjoying this blog, even though it really is just for my expression. But I am starting to feel like I am pushing the daily part.

So, from here on out, I am going to post when something comes my way. When I am truly moved and want to truly share. Or when some light bulb moment goes off, like today.

Talking with someone in one of my online FB groups, we were discussing a video on communication that I fell in love with. It made me realize that I need to focus a little more on those ten things she lists. In our conversation, I confessed that feeling to him and then I wrote this.... "I definitely need to listen more. I don't always feel heard, so that's where my issue lies, I think. BUUUUUT, my not being heard doesn't have anything to do with me or what I am saying, it has to do with their ability or readiness to hear it”.....huh?. Light bulb moment".

I've noticed that I have this need to be heard. I'm not sure where it comes from, but it doesn't matter right now. Acknowledging the feeling and allowing it to just be is what matters right now. Realizing that it is not me that is not being heard, but the other person who is just not fully with me and listening to me, was definitely a light bulb moment. With that realization, also came the feeling of no longer needing to be heard.

I feel many of us have this need of being heard. People repeating themselves, most likely because no one listened or acknowledged them or their feelings. When we do not listen, we can’t acknowledge the person we are talking with, thus leaving them feeling unheard.

Acknowledgment has a lot to do with feeling heard. When someone can be fully present for us, giving us their full attention and focus, it allows us to share our deepest feelings and thoughts. When they can respond in a way that shows us they really felt us and understood, we then feel heard.

My co-workers and I keep experiencing not feeling heard by our boss. We do not feel she is listening. Whether it's friendship, romance, work or play related, it is so important that we listen with an open heart, listen to hear and not to respond, and to listen without judgment.

To be heard is a great feeling in so many ways, but we can ensure we are being heard if we first listen to ourselves, to our hearts, and validate our own selves. If we can do that, then we will not need anyone outside of ourselves to hear us.